"No Man is an Island"
-John Donne
For many people battling with stress, the fight can often
feel like a very lonely struggle. The
anxiety and depression that result from struggles at work and in our personal
life cause us to feel isolated from others and forget that there are people
around us who can help. These people are
our support system, and their presence is vital to reducing stress and helping
us maintain a general sense of sanity in our worlds.
The purpose of having a positive support system is to ensure
that we are not forced to cope with the pressures of stress alone- they keep us
stable. No matter how successful you may
feel at coping with your problems alone, there will always come a time when
even the strongest coping skills is not enough.
Stressful situations get worse just as sure as they eventually get
better and it is important to have people to lean on when this happens. Different support persons achieve this in different
ways. Some may help us by lending an ear
to listen to us unload our stress.
Others may help take our mind off things by providing a fun afternoon
activity to socialize. No matter how
they achieve it, a support person is defined by the end result of helping us
reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.
In addition to receiving stability from your support system,
many people find that it helps them to feel grounded and validated. When we get involved in stressful, anxious,
or depressed situations, we often convince ourselves that no one in the world
as gone through something like this. We
fool ourselves into believing that no one else could ever understand our
pain. A positive support system will
often remind us that being overwhelmed and emotionally drained is normal and expected. They can help us maintain perspective when
our world feels out of control, and a good support system knows what to say to
help us take a deep breath and take stock of our lives.
The most important part of creating a positive support
system is being able to identify those people in your life that give you
stability and validation without the negativity of judgment. These people could come from any facet of
your life: a spouse, a child, a parent or siblings, a co-worker, or just a
friend. If you feel comfortable sharing
your feelings with this person and you can expect no judgment back from them,
then they are a part of your positive support system. If they do pass judgment or make you feel
negative about the emotions you’re going to, then perhaps it is time to release
them from your support system and engage with someone that helps you relieve
your stress.
There are times and situations when we may discover that we
don’t have the positive support system that we want. It may be that our supports are too negative
for us or that our supports have become warn out. In these cases, you may want to seek out some
new members to add to your support team.
This can be done in a number of different places. Start by seeking out environments where you
can find positive people, including: church groups, community organizations,
and even neighbors. In these groups, you
can seek out new friends to create relationships with that can be supportive in
the future.
Our positive support groups can be as big or as small as we
feel comfortable. Each person is
different and requires a different support network to help us cope with our
problems. The most important thing to remember is that, no matte the size, we
all need a positive support network of some kind. If you feel that you don’t have anyone in
your life to help you through difficult times, this may be the perfect time to
seek out a neighborhood friend, attend a church group meeting, or call a family
member. Reach out to the positive people
around us and allow them to help. You’ve
probably already helped someone else- now let them help you!
Bill Knor, LCPC
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
No comments:
Post a Comment