Are your needs being met?

Often when I ask  my clients "what are your needs in this relationship?" they look at me with a blank face. Most times the response rendered is "I don't know".  Whether in a committed romantic relationship or in a marriage, being aware of one's needs and knowing what they are and if they are  being met is important to the success of the relationship or marriage.  According to Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D clinical psychologist and author of His Needs, Her Needs, Building an Affair Proof Marriage,  there are 10 emotional needs that are important to marriage. These needs are as follows:
Affection
- the nonsexual expression of care through words, cards, gifts, hugs, kisses, and courtesies, creating an environment that clearly and repeatedly expresses care.

Sexual fulfillment
-a sexual experience that is predictably enjoyable and frequent enough for you.

Intimate conversation
-talking about feelings, topics of personal interest/opinion, and plans

Recreational companionship
-Leisure activities with at least one other person.

Honesty and openness
-Truthful and frank expressions of positive and negative feelings, events of the past, daily events and schedule, and plans for he future; not leaving a false setting.

Physical attractiveness of spouse
-Viewing physical traits of your partner that are aesthetically and or sexually pleasing.

Financial support
-the provision of the financial resources to house, feed, and clothe your family at a standard of living acceptable to you.

Domestic support
-Management of the household tasks and care of the children that create  home environment  that offers a refuge from stress.

Family commitment
- provision for the moral and educational development of the children within the family unit.

Admiration
-Being shown respect, value, and appreciation.

Once the needs are explicitly stated the client/s is often better able to answer the "what do you need in this relationship and are they being met?" question. At times it is just a matter of putting words to experiences that are already happening in the relationship. Other times, it helps put words to what is off or missing in the relationship.  At the very least he or she is able to contemplate areas of  the relationship that are important and evaluate potential or current partners effectiveness in meeting those needs.

If you find that your partner or spouse is needing some assistance with helping you get your emotional needs met, or vice versa, feel free to us a call at 708-349-5433.

Ariane Allen Psy.D
Orland Office
708-349-5433 ext.3
aallen@anxiety-stresscenter.com

Low Postassium linked to Anxiety and Sleep Disturbance

Potassium is a common mineral in our body that helps with just about every bodily function. Potassium is a mineral that is used by the body cells to create an electrical conduction system across the cell membrane. These cell membrane transmissions promote heart function, nerve impulse transmissions and muscle contractions. An imbalance of potassium can cause many different side effects including anxiety and new research suggests a potential for sleep disturbances.

If you have low levels of potassium, you may experience an increase in your anxiety symptoms. 

Anxiety is an abnormal feeling of worry, fear, apprehension or nervousness. Anxiety can occur for a number of reasons, and comes in varying degrees of intensity. One common cause of anxiety is poor diet. Your body is a complex chemical system. When you lack a particular vitamin or mineral, your system can be thrown off. In relation to potassium, low levels can cause mental fatigue, stress and anxiety. Eating a well balanced diet and incorporating whole, natural foods may help you get on track to overcoming your anxiety.

Although there is no definitive research to support the concept that low potassium causes sleep problems, the potential is there. Potassium channel dysfunctions, which can prevent potassium from getting into cells, and the muscle spasms, which are one of the symptoms of hypokalemia (deficiency of potassium in the bloodstream), could both disrupt your sleep. If you have a chronic problem with insomnia or feel tired all the time, consult a health care professional – insomnia and fatigue can be symptoms of serious disorders such as sleep apnea.

Lauren F. White, LCPC
Clinical Psychotherapist