The Platinum Rule to Reduce Stress

The Golden Rule- We all know it. Most of us have grown up with it. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Or, more commonly, “Treat others how you want to be treated”. It’s a pretty simple concept. If you want to be loved, love others. If you want to be accepted, accept others. If you want patience bestowed upon you, be patient with others. If you want to be cared for, care for others. If you want to be forgiven, forgive others.   

However, this rule can only account for so much. While we may treat others according to the Golden Rule, it does not account for everything.  Many who follow the golden rule put the needs of others far above their own wants and needs. And, this can be praiseworthy at times. However, could there be more to this?

I propose the “Platinum Rule.” This is not meant to replace the golden rule. More so, to give us something more to aspire to in our actions and choices. A complimentary rule. And here is what I propose: “We must learn to treat ourselves how we want to be treated.” Sounds simple enough. Or does it?

What is it that we truly seek from others?  Love, acceptance, patience, and care. Moreso, unconditional love, patience, acceptance.  Even forgiveness may be added to this list. How often do you practice loving yourself?  Accepting yourself fully? How often are you patient with yourself? With your own struggles? Patient with your mistakes or progress? Most importantly, how often do we forgive ourselves? Fully and freely and allow ourselves to move forward without shame and regret? How easily do we offer these gifts to others, yet not to ourselves.

So, I implore you, incorporate the platinum rule, as well as the golden rule. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you. Love yourself. Accept yourself. Be patient with yourself. Take care of yourself.  Forgive yourself.

Karen Rosian, Psy.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist